Recipe No. 6 – How To Become A Cult Leader.

Step One: Have an idea. A good one. One that will sell itself.

Step Two: Prey on minds that believe they need what you’re selling. Usually, in some form or another, the sell is about a particular lifestyle or image. They will begin to follow you, oh great leader.

Step Three: Keep your followers on their toes. Make sure they are so brainwashed and bathed in fear that it will take a great leap in life to stop following you. Ever.

Step Four: When minds start to wake up to whatever they’ve believed, make sure you have enough money to keep your cult going. Discredit non-believers at every turn. Be so fearful and powerless- errr, I mean fearED and powerFUL that you don’t have to appear to be grasping at straws to maintain “order.”

CONGRATULATIONS! 👏 YOU HAVE BECOME A CULT LEADER.* 😱

*A cult can be seen as such depending on perspective. Scientology? Consult the dictionary definition. An economy based on consumerism? You decide.

Recipe No. 4 – How To Get Through a Power Outage in the Middle of a Summer Day.

Step One: Get naked. The A/C won’t be working for a while, so it is best to take precautions.

Step Two: Eat food before it spoils. Start with the freezer – ice cream or popsicles are first in this crisis.

Step Three: Divvy up your time with your most-charged devices. Save your cell phone for last – you never know when you might need to phone a friend (or answer a call) for that tricky Who Wants To Be A Millionaire question.

Step Four: Still no power? Take a nap and pray 🙏 that your devices will be re-charged again in the convenience of your own home rather than at some random Starbucks outside of the zone of affected power-outage customers.

CONGRATULATIONS! 👏 YOU MADE IT THROUGH A 1ST WORLD CRISIS. 😱

*Inspired by yet another no A/C situation at my job today. Almost the 3rd power outage of some kind at my job/home this summer. I stand by this recipe. It is utterly complaint-proof.