Venus.

Venus says “I love + harmonize.”

VENUS IN ARIES

Venus in Aries is about loving and harmonizing through the Aries’ energetic field. The person with their Venus in Aries may express their personal love with fast energy: flirting with anyone they feel a “spark” with, appearing quite direct, assertive, and/or aggressive with affections, moving quickly into and/or out of a relationship, etc. Venus in Aries is a very self-centered energy; however, it is not necessarily narcissistic. There is a strong connection with action and “fireworks” for the Venus in Aries individual, and how they go about finding that connection in another person is heavily dependent on many other parts to their Being. Regardless, the person with their Venus in Aries may easily become bored when things are not moving along at the pace they feel accustomed to with regards to love, beauty, and harmony.

VENUS IN TAURUS

The Venus in Taurus native will most likely come across as highly dependable. Since Venus rules Taurus (and Libra), this energy generally manifests both ways: they seek harmonization with a partner who is also highly dependable. The need for security, comfort, and sensual pleasure of all kinds becomes highlighted for the Venus in Taurus individual. Anything that links with ideas and beliefs and values about “worth” come into play for this type of energetic field. The Venus in Taurus person will most likely come across as highly affectionate – especially noticeable with touching, hugging, kissing, etc. Again, this love energy is focused on comfort and sensual pleasure. It is a bonding and attachment type of energy – make sure you give back!

VENUS IN GEMINI

The Venus in Gemini native expresses love through the intellect and through communication in general. These are the writers, the poets, the musicians…all of which use their hands and their mind to convey messages of love and harmony. These types like to talk…and talk and talk and talk! Some may consider the Venus in Gemini individual as “two-faced” or a “tease” of some kind; however, the energy is truly centered on harmonizing through the intellect, the mind and communication. Banter, wittiness, a strength in knowledge on some level…all of these may come into play for the Venus in Gemini native. Overall, these folks may appear to be more “surface” to some extent, given their need for variety. In other words, this type of love energy may not want to dive into heavy or deeper conversations without other natural indicators (which can be seen in the natal chart).

VENUS IN CANCER

The Venus in Cancer native may express love in a stereotypical “motherly” way. They are nurturing, protective, sensitive and caring in their love nature(s). Sometimes this energy appears to get out of balance and interactions can feel smothering or overbearing; still, the underlying energy is about love and harmony with whatever is going on. Those individuals with their Venus in Cancer seek to find a sense of reliability, comfort, and stability in their interactions as if everything were in a womb (or a shell: think Crab qualities). They love and harmonize with an ultimate desire for balance: snuggle up with this energy and all could be good!

VENUS IN LEO

The Venus in Leo native may express love in a number of ways, but the heart is absolutely involved (Leo’s physical manifestation in the body = the heart/spine). Leo is about the heart, courage, the will, drive, pride, and so much more. When Venus shows up in Leo for any individual, these keywords may come into play – and so may the keyword “play” itself! The Venus in Leo individual may appear to be quite childlike, exuberant, dramatic or zealous, magnanimous and unique all at once. They may tend to express love with a lot of romance and a lot of loyalty too. In other words, a theatrical flair with a dash of lighthearted fun tends to depict what this energy is about. You’re going to get a lot of attention from a Venus in Leo native…reciprocating is key! That, to them, is harmony.

VENUS IN VIRGO

The Venus in Virgo native will likely express their love through subtle details with a focus on health and service. These individuals may seem to criticize or nag a bit with their affections – in a lighthearted way. They play off of the previous sign’s energies, and they extend into the next sign’s energies as well (just as each sign does to some extent). So, the Venus in Virgo native may take parts of the playfulness in Leo energy and couple it with the balance-seeking needs of Libra. Their “perfectionist” attitudes really hold insecurities underneath, and they love best when those sentiments are expressed and understood with all parties involved. With Venus in Virgo, all one has to remember is it is the little things that count! 

VENUS IN LIBRA

The Venus in Libra native is at home! While Venus rules Taurus as well, the Venus in Libra individual will extend Venusian energy beyond what Taurus represents (beauty, stability, sensual pleasures, etc.). This individual may tend to add to Taurus’ energy and place an emphasis on relationships in general. In other words, the beauty, the stability, the harmony, the love, the sensuality, and more – all of these things are fully expressed and understood better with and through an Other. The Venus in Libra native thrives on relationship, and particularly harmonious ones. However, even when not in “harmony,” the Venus in Libra native will strive for that. Fairness, equality, and justice all play key roles in relating for the Venus in Libra individual. Essentially, this type of energy is about sharing and honesty as those things are directly linked to the concepts of love and harmony for them!

venuS IN SCORPIO

The Venus in Scorpio native is intense with an all-or-nothing energy. In fact, quite often, the energy is so heavily-held that it can feel controlling, possessive and/or obsessive. However, and underneath it all, there is truly the desire to bond and connect deeply, intimately, sexually, and with a strong sense of loyalty and commitment attached as well. These are dedicated souls in what they feel “love” is. As an opposite sign to Taurus, the individual with Venus in Scorpio may appear to be (and/or actually be) the jealous type. Their apparent jealousy may stem from much of what is already described here, but in general, Venus in Scorpio acts as a sort of “dark side” to love. The “dark” is not intended to be negative; instead, it is best understood as a strong, instinctive desire to unionize with an Other. When they love themselves fully first (as it is with any Being), the jealousy for another’s heart energy transforms itself. Regardless, the Venus in Scorpio native is a deep, contemplative, and emotionally-charged Being! Embrace them.

VENUS IN SAGITTARIUS

The Venus in Sagittarius native is a gypsy lover! The energy of Sagittarius blends with the Venusian qualities in such a way that these individuals tend to come off as “non-committal.” What is desired by these folks is a sense of expansiveness – whether literal or figurative (outer travel or inner travel, for example). Their love is expressed through open-mindedness, joviality and (paradoxically) some seriousness, bluntness, etc. These are the souls that love with a breath of fresh air, so to speak. The Venus in Sagittarius native wants to explore and expand everything it comes into contact with. Connected with Pisces in a way, these individuals are in love with life and express their sentiments with or without any Other!

VENUS IN CAPRICORN

The Venus in Capricorn native is a cautious and responsible lover. They may be traditional romantics at heart, but they may express their love slowly, deliberately, and with an eye towards the future. They are truly committed types, and they are best in harmony with those that relate to their dependable nature. An individual with Venus in Capricorn may not be the most spontaneous of all individuals when it comes to matters of the heart, but they are rock solid partners!

VENUS IN AQUARIUS

The Venus in Aquarius native is the detached, aloof, and rebellious type. The person with their Venus in Aquarius may express their personal love in an unconventional or eccentric manner. They loathe rules, and so any sort of traditional relationship may bore them fairly quickly. Venus in Aquarius wants a friend in their partner, and they want a friend who they can truly rely on to create space for their intellect. There is a strong connection with progressive, innovative, and forward-thinking energy for these folks, so space for that and, truly, space in general works best for these natives. Harmony for Venus in Aquarius is in the love of uniqueness and individuality!

VENUS IN PISCES

The Venus in Pisces native is the sensitive dreamer type. The person with their Venus in Pisces may express their personal love as, paradoxically, transpersonal love. These are the unconditional lovers, and they tend to share their love with all of the world! They aren’t real planners; they would rather go-with-the-flow and see how things progress in any and all interactions. For this reason, they are not necessarily oriented towards commitment. Those that do commit, though, generally find themselves with someone who understands their soft-hearted, romantic, and somewhat unreliable nature.
Advertisements

M A S S . M E D I T A T I O N S . D A Y . F O U R . E A R T H

D A Y . F O U R :::: E A R T H – September 29th, 9pm Mountain Time.

*PHOTO :: MAIEUTIC.ARTS – COPYRIGHTED FOR ORACLE DECK PRINTING*

Step One :: Get comfortable.

Step Two :: Take some deep breaths. I N H A L E deeply through your nose and E X H A L E through your nose. Let your breaths pool deep into your belly. Repeat 4x.

Step Three :: Begin by I N H A L I NG through your nose. As you E X H A L E feel yourself R E L E A S I N G energy you do not need through your C R O W N. See this energy transform into a stream of W H I T E light, connecting to the heavens. I N H A L E through your nose very slowly once more. E X H A L E through your nose releasing energy you do not need again while seeing it release through the B A S E of your spine. See it transforming into G O L D E N light, moving to the core of the Earth.

Step Four :: Now, imagine you A R E the Earth. Feel the C R O W N of your head aligned with the North Pole and feel the B A S E of your spine seated in the South Pole. Let your arms and legs relax. Sense the rotation of the earth. Notice how she breathes, pulses, radiates…

Step Five :: Feel wherever you are “out-of-balance” and sense what you may be here to creatively master. Is there a particular place in your body or chakra system that wants your attention? Bring your hands to that area or those areas. Let your hands do whatever they need to do in that area or those areas to begin to bring things into balance more. Take T H R E E deep breaths and on the last exhale, give gratitude to this life, on this planet.

If you wish, ask for Mother Earth to give you messages through symbols over the next 30 days before Harvest Time 2017. What do you need? What are you goals? What is your next step? Offer up the question(s) you seek answers to and see what unfolds. May you + yours + our Home become even more amazing.

T H A N K . Y O U . F O R . P A R T I C I P A T I N G !

M A S S . M E D I T A T I O N S . D A Y . T H R E E . A I R

D A Y . T H R E E ::: A I R – September 27th, 3pm Central Time.

*PHOTO :: MAIEUTIC.ARTS – COPYRIGHTED FOR ORACLE DECK PRINTING*

Step One :: Get comfortable.

Step Two :: Take some deep breaths. I N H A L E fully – through your mouth and feel your belly, lungs and chest expand. Now E X H A L E through your mouth releasing air from the belly first, then lungs and finally chest. Repeat 3X.

Step Three :: Now, imagine a feather floating on A I R . See it descending from the heavens, floating down to Earth and blessing you with the purest distillation of the air element. R E C E I V E. What kind of feather has shown up for you? Take note of this as the type of bird totem that shows up is calling to you, sending you a message from the realm of the air.

Step Four :: Move into Y O U R. A I R. What about your own “air” do you notice? How does your breath feel? The space around you? Your mental faculties? Whatever shows up for you, feel this feather softening any harsh energies, releasing auric debris and bringing your A I R into deeper alignment.

Step Five :: Make ‘Okay’ symbols with your hands held in front of your chest. Interlock your fingers. Let your left fingers open toward the sky and your right fingers open toward the Earth. Breathe while you relax the shoulders and arms and hold them in front of the H E A R T.

As you re-enter your day/night from this mass meditation, I recommend drinking lots and lots of water + refocusing on your breath randomly throughout your days – at least for the next day or so. May you be revitalized + energized + balanced! Thank you!!

**Next M A S S . M E D I T A T I O N will be this Friday, September 29th @ 9pm Mountain Time! Hope you and yours can join us!**

M A S S . M E D I T A T I O N S . D A Y . T W O . F I R E

D A Y . T W O :: F I R E – September 22nd, 6pm Pacific Time.

*PHOTO :: MAIEUTIC.ARTS – COPYRIGHTED FOR ORACLE DECK PRINTING*

Step One :: Get comfortable.

Step Two :: Take some deep breaths. I N H A L E fully – through your belly, your back, your shoulders. Now E X H A L E as if you’re whispering + laughing at the same time. In other words, stagger your release on the out breath. It helps to smile and actually laugh if you can :). Repeat 3X.

Step Three :: Now, imagine F I R E. However it shows up means something. From a candle, to a fireplace or stove or campfire, all the way to a wildfire or volcanic eruption. Choose your image of fire to focus on. How is the fire moving? Is it controlled or contained somehow? Does it move itself in response to its surroundings? What sound(s) do you hear? Keep breathing and imagine that fire purifying + cleansing all that needs to be released. See it becoming whatever it needs to become in your mind’s eye.

Step Four :: Move into Y O U R . F I R E. Your fire is everywhere in a way, but it may help to focus on where you draw your energy from. I suggest the heart center, the solar plexus, and/or the sacral – somewhere in the middle region of your body. It may help to imagine you’re like our Sun… the middle region is brighter than the outer layers of light. Regardless of where you focus, M O V E the energy. How do you want to move it around? What patterns or shapes does this movement make? Do you need to literally move or dance around? Notice how/where you want the energy to go and release whatever needs to be released from parts of your body.

Step Five :: Bring your hands to your crown, imagine yourself wearing a crown, or simply focus on the top of your head. Take O N E big breath and H O L D your energy there for five seconds or more. Create a positive intention for A L L . F I R E… and exhale it into existence. T H A N K . Y O U .

As you re-enter your day/night from this mass meditation, I recommend drinking lots of water + burning something. Incense, resin, or any other kind of smoke-inducing agent is great so long as you are M I N D F U L  during the process. Imagine the scene you created during this meditation as things burn off. May you be lighter + brighter + balanced! Thank you!!

**Next M A S S . M E D I T A T I O N will be next Wednesday, September 27th @ 3pm Central Time. Hope you and yours can join us!**

M A S S . M E D I T A T I O N S . D A Y . O N E . W A T E R

D A Y . O N E : W A T E R – September 20th, 12pm Eastern Time.

*PHOTO :: MAIEUTIC.ARTS – COPYRIGHTED FOR ORACLE DECK PRINTING*

Step One :: Get comfortable.

Step Two :: Take some deep breaths. I N H A L E fully – through your belly, your back, your shoulders. H O L D for three seconds at the top of your inhale. Now E X H A L E… H O L D for three seconds at the bottom of your exhale. Repeat 4x.

Step Three :: Now, imagine W A T E R. Whatever comes to mind is great. The oceans, the rivers, the streams, tap water, a pool, a waterfall – whatever. How is the water flowing? What does it look like? Does it have a location on Earth? Keep breathing and imagine that water purifying + cleansing itself. See it becoming brighter, lighter, and flowing as it is meant to flow…

Step Four :: Move into Y O U R . W A T E R . You body is close to 70% water, just like our Planet Earth. Take that clean and purified water you just created in the outer world and move it into your inner world – your body. Every cell latches onto it and your body naturally feels brighter + lighter as you breathe… and with every heartbeat.

Step Five :: Bring your hands to your heart, imagine yourself holding your heart center, or simply focus on that area of your body as your breathe. Take O N E big breath and H O L D your energy there for three seconds. Create a positive intention for A L L . W A T E R… and exhale it into existence. T H A N K . Y O U .

As you re-enter your day/night from this mass meditation, I recommend drinking lots and lots of water for the next day or so. Imagine the scene you created during this meditation each time you drink water. May you be grounded + energized + balanced! Thank you!!

**Next M A S S . M E D I T A T I O N will be this Friday, September 22nd @ 6pm Pacific Time – The Autumnal Equinox. Hope you and yours can join us!**

M A S S . M E D I T A T I O N S .

      

For the past few weeks (and before the recent fires and hurricanes in the US), I’ve felt called to create a mass meditation. It’s turned into a series of four mass meditations dedicated to balancing our planet Earth.
Stop what you are doing for 5 – 10 minutes and meditate with all of us.
It’s that simple.

  • D A Y . O N E : W A T E R – September 20th, 12pm Eastern Time.
  • D A Y . T W O : F I R E – September 22nd, 6pm Pacific Time.
  • D A Y . T H R E E : A I R – September 27th, 3pm Central Time.
  • D A Y . F O U R : E A R T H – September 29th, 9pm Mountain Time.

To join in, all you need to do is either follow me on Instagram @maieutic.arts OR look for the most recent blog posts right here, through the E V E N T S section!

*AS A SIDE NOTE :: As I was writing about the feminine asteroids, I realized how PERFECT all the timing was with everything coming to fruition. I only intended to write on the asteroids because Mercury was already covered in the Astrological Tidbits. Virgo energy felt very fitting for diving into the four major feminine asteroids a bit. Lo and behold, these energies seem to line up EXACTLY with these mass meditation calls!! Ceres is akin to WATER meditation; Pallas is akin to the FIRE meditation; Vesta is akin to the AIR meditation (she keeps the fire going); and Juno is akin to the EARTH meditation. Synchronicity much?! Read about the asteroids here!

The (Major) Feminine Asteroids.

*Photo Credit to Mystic Mama (above)

It”s taken me a while to even begin to understand the feminine asteroids: Ceres, Pallas Athene, Juno + Vesta. I’ve been practicing, studying, refining and evolving my beliefs through the astrological lens for more than 15 years now. Yet, I did not begin to take the feminine asteroid archetypes into account until about 4 years ago. Perfect timing, though, since these asteroids all take about 3.5 – 4.5 years to move through your whole chart.

What can I say about these archetypes? First of all, I do treat them as archetypes – as I do with all of the astrological symbols + concepts. I am a Jungian in this way, and I learn through my own unconscious/conscious filtering before I can see universality and apply any potential themes to the collective (or at least the collective clients that come my way).

Let’s begin with Ceres.

C E R E S :: W A T E R . E N E R G Y :: As a disclaimer, I will say my natal Ceres is on my Descendant at 24 degrees Cancer. That kind of placement has offered me a multitude of opportunities to understand this energy – and to OWN my projections (7th House cusp). The story goes that Ceres is a “harvest” archetype. This energy can be equated with nurturing, and thus motherhood since harvesting is about planting seeds for renewal and growth. Not surprisingly, Ceres is often considered to co-rule Cancer (alongside The Moon). I’ve come to agree with this depiction of the Ceres archetype through my own lens, particularly when coupled with The Moon’s transits. They seem to “talk” together.

Natal Ceres energy nearly always takes precedent in my mind. So a transiting Ceres is like saying, “your natal energy is showing up in this area of your life now.” For example, for the New Moon on September 19th, 2017 @ 11:30pm Mountain Time, Ceres will be at approximately 28 degrees Cancer – it just passed a conjunction to my own natal Ceres. The Moon will be at approximately 27 degrees Virgo – which, for me, resides in my 8th House; my natal Moon is at 4 degrees Leo, and these energies are, indeed, “talking” together! In fact, I’ve felt EXTREMELY pulled into creating 4 mass meditations posted through Instagram @maieutic.arts + @vanessalamorte and right here on this blog. How does your Ceres energy show up? How is your moon “talking” with her? Feel free to contact me for mentoring services on this energy if you are interested in your personal astrology!

How about that Pallas Athene? Some say Pallas Athena… either way, let’s go with Pallas for short.

P A L L A S :: F I R E . E N E R G Y :: You know that movie, Hidden Figures? The one with the three African-American women who offer us a behind-the-scenes rendition of all that it took for John Glenn (astronaut) to make to space and back? Yea. That movie is like the Pallas archetype in action. Pallas is about fierce independence, grace + ageless feminine wisdom. I tend to equate Pallas with owls – and so does her archetypal story. Anyhow, let’s dig into it a bit more.

Pallas is the feminine warrior, usually represented as the female “assistant” to great male warriors. She offers invaluable advice + counsel to her male counterparts in her story. As an example to guide you, Pallas will be at 14 degrees Taurus EXACTLY on the New Moon, September 19th, 2017 @ 11:30pm Mountain Time. Where does her energy hit you? What is your natal Pallas energy like? Do you identify with her energy on some level? I know I do. My Pallas is conjunct my Chiron in Gemini in the 5th House, which is EXACTLY opposite my Uranus in Sagittarius in the 11th House. The New Moon this time around hits my North Node in Taurus. I think I may actually over-identify with Pallas’ energy as a stellium Leo – not even knowing about it until recently. Now that I’ve watched her move through my life, I can absolutely see how this energy plays out. And, it is still moving me to heal both myself and others along the way.

V E S T A :: A I R . E N E R G Y :: Oh, dear Vesta. The “vestal virgin” is so on point with Virgo energy as the goddess of the hearth fire. While her symbol is the flame, she is more like the feminine Saturnine energy + the idea of air for a fire… she keeps the flame going. If you think about Saturn (earth) + air (Mercury), it really makes perfect sense that she is equated with Virgo.

Vesta’s story is about keeping the feminine energy flowing. In her time, that meant making zero commitment to another person. The expression of the energy could (and can) range from purity and abstinence to many sexual partners with no intimacy. Why? The idea was to keep from being “touched” by anything that didn’t serve goddess energy. A variant of the fierce independence that, say, Pallas’ archetype denotes.

This archetype may seem out of sorts in some ways by todays various cultural progressions, but the energy lingers as a conscious construct to this day. In fact, in many cultures and religions, her archetype is still “the norm.” My Vesta is fairly prominent in my chart in a way as it conjuncts my South Node and opposes my Black Moon Lilith. I have swung in all sorts of different directions when it comes to relationships! From two long-term relationships, a turned-down proposal, and a hyper-sexualized + transformative relationship with a karmic twin brother…yea. I get Vesta. Do you? How does it show up for you? The New Moon on September 19th at 11:30pm Mountain Time shows Vesta at almost 1 degree of Libra. The sign of balance + relationships (among other qualities, of course). Hmm… how might that play out? Feel free to reach out for mentoring on this energy if you so desire.

Last, but certainly not least, Juno!

J U N O :: E A R T H . E N E R G Y :: In some kind of contrast to Vesta, Juno is pretty much focused on the partnering energy in any intimate relationship. It is typically associated with or named the “marriage” asteroid, meaning that wherever/however the energy shows up in your chart may symbolize your views on marriage + partnership.

In her story, her archetype holds a lot. From jealousy and bitterness to authority + control stuff all the way to bliss and pure monogamy. From my perspective and understanding of this energy, Juno is associated mostly with Capricorn energy. While Vesta is like the feminine Saturn (Capricorn’s ruler), there is an edge of airiness about her energy. The air keeps the fire going in a different direction, shall we say. Juno on the other hand seems to be more fully Capricorn in my mind. Very, very earthy. In fact, she tended to be seen as a woman armed with a goatskin cloak – goat is the symbol for Capricorn.

Anyhow, the easiest way to understand your own Juno energy is to look at BOTH the sign and the house it is located in. I will use my own Juno energy as an example. I was born with Juno in my 9th House at roughly 13.5 degrees into Libra. As I mentioned before, I’ve had alllllll sorts of relationships – intimate and romantic, intimate and non-romantic. I have never felt like I was going to be the marriage type, but if I meet a true partner/soulmate to spend as many days as possible in my life with…then yes. I am not only open to that, I am actually ONLY open to that. In other words, my Juno energy (coupled with all my other feminine asteroid energy + my chart as a whole) does reflect my own beliefs/story back to me. I ultimately can and will only settle for a fully EQUAL partnership. A balanced one on all levels, but with an emphasis on the mental plane. That’s Juno in Libra in the 9th. Plus Pallas in Gemini in the 5th House…and a stellium in Leo in the 7th. Makes sense. Do you want to make sense of your energy? Contact me for donation-based mentoring services!

 

**F O U R . M A S S . M E D I T A T I O N S . B E G I N . N O W!**

Interestingly, and totally unplanned, these four feminine asteroids seem to line up with the mass meditations myself and my dear friend Vanessa Lamorte put together to kick off a dream class offering… the first mass meditation call is September 20th @ 12pm Eastern Time, and it is on the element, W A T E R . The next one will be F I R E; the third one will be A I R; the last one will be E A R T H. In respective order, these archetypes seem to want to join us!!

CHECK OUT MY EVENTS PAGE FOR MORE INFORMATION + GUIDED MEDITATIONS OR FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM @MAIEUTIC.ARTS.

Recipe No. 10 – How To Be Neglectful.

Step One: Do nothing. Reflexes don’t count here. If you naturally breathe, blink, and otherwise move your knee when a doctor’s mallet hits it, you’re in the clear.

Step Two: Do NOT care. By any means necessary, teach yourself not to care.

Step Three: Write a post about neglect after failing to write daily recipes.

 

CONGRATULATIONS! 👏 YOU ARE ABLE TO NEGLECT.* 😔

*SORRY. While I admit it may appear as though I am a completely neglectful non-stick figure, I have been doing things besides blinking and moving my knee. And, I do care. So much so that I decided to write a post on my own failures in following through on my own self-prescribed daily posting. I will try to do better. ❤️

Recipe No. 9 – How To Be Compassionate.

Step One: Drop the projections. You may or may not need to have a truly direct experience with ego mind in order to grasp essence mind.

Step Two: Identify with the emptiness. See the everything + nothing that’s been right in front of your eyes all along.

Step Three: In this naturally neutral state, all that your ego mind believed to be real is replaced with compassion.

Step Four: With every tender trigger point in your psyche, life will gift you with experiences to learn where you’re not in compassion. Repeat steps over and over and over again until all karma is dissolved into everything + nothing, emptiness.

CONGRATULATIONS! 👏 YOU CAN ADD COMPASSION TO YOUR WORLD. 

*Whenever you blame others, you are actually admitting your dependence on them…you need the other to justify your egoic position: ‘I’m angry because he insulted me’ [is actually to say] ‘I need him so that I can have my anger.’ [In essence mind], the issue is not what the other did to you; the real issue is how you choose to respond to the situation. If you choose ego mind, you cannot avoid blaming or accusing.” -Excerpt from The Matter of Mind: An Explorer’s Guide to the Labyrinth of the Mind, Master Djwhal Khul through Kathlyn Kingdon

Recipe No. 8 – How To Stop Puking.

Step One: Take precautions. NEVER work with children. Doctors and sane people would call this step, “preventative medicine.”

Step Two: If you find yourself near a group of children + teachers going home from vomiting, diarrhea, or some other extreme form of indigestion, leave. Walk out. Actually, run – it will burn off toxins and make your drink water to battle what may be headed your way.

Step Three: You’ve tried. You really have. And yet, at 4am, you begin puking. You can’t stop. You’re dry heaving. You drink a bunch of water to rehydrate. You puke all of that up too. You have chills and run a fever for the next 24 hours. You may or may not have body aches as well.

Step Four: Don’t move. Don’t do anything. Nothing can be trusted except binge watching Netflix. Once you can stomach a spoonful of water without wanting to vomit, you’re in the clear.

CONGRATULATIONS! 👏 YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY STOPPED PUKING.*

*If you can’t tell, I missed posting anything yesterday due to illness. My co-workers blame Chipotle. Listen, ladies, if it were Chipotle, I would’ve been puking days ago. Hell, if were Chipotle, I would’ve been puking almost non-stop for the last 17 years. And, this recipe would’ve been only one step (don’t eat Chipotle). It wasn’t the Chipotle. It was you and your puking and all of the children and doctor parents bringing their illnesses to us. Sharing is caring? Sometimes, I question that saying.